Jack and Jill and the Beanstalk
Jack and Jill were very poor.
Their only source of income was one boney old milk cow. One day the cow quit
giving milk. She had dried up and so had their income.
“Oh no,” moaned Jack, “we are
going to starve!”
“Well,” said Jill, “this is
the way things are now. What are we going to do about it?”
“Let’s eat the cow,” proposed
Jack.
“Once the cow has been
eaten,” suggested Jill, “we will starve. Let’s take the cow to market instead and
sell her. We can then buy a little food and some seeds to plant. If we raise a
garden we won’t starve.”
Jack agreed.
The next morning Jack took
the cow to market. Well, you all know how the story goes. We may never know if
Jack was a good horse trader, but we
know that he was not a good cow trader for he arrived back that evening with
only a small bag of “magic” beans. By
the time he arrived home, Jack had a serious case of buyer’s remorse. Even he
knew he had made a poor bargain.
“Well,” said Jill when she
heard the news, “this is the way things are now. What are we going to do about
it?”
“I’m hungry. Let’s eat the
beans,” suggested Jack.
“Once the beans have been
eaten,” Jill said, “we will starve. Let’s plant them instead and see if
anything good comes of it.”
So they planted the beans and
went to bed. Yes, you know the story. The next morning there was a giant
beanstalk growing up through the clouds.
“Wow,” said Jack, “what great
shade! I’ll bet my hammock will just reach from the corner of the house to the
beanstalk.”
“There are certainly a lot of
beans growing on it,” observed Jill. “At least we won’t starve.”
“Yea,” admitted Jack
reluctantly, “but I wish we had the cow back. I like steak better than beans.”
“Well,” murmured Jill gazing
thoughtfully toward the top of the beanstalk, “this is the way things are now.
What are we going to do about it?”
“I’m taking a nap in my hammock,”
mumbled Jack around a mouthful of raw beans.
Jill, on the other hand,
decided to investigate their only asset. She climbed the beanstalk. Yes, you
are ahead of me again. She did find a castle belonging to a giant, a singing
harp, and a hen that laid golden eggs. Before Jill could decide what
to do with her discovery, the giant came home. Now for the sake of time, let’s
skip all the “fee, fi, fo-ing” and
cut right to the chase—well not much of a chase
because the giant caught Jill in about 5 seconds flat!
“Well,” thought Jill as the
giant flipped through his favorite Not
for Vegetarian’s Cookbook, “this is the way things are now. What am I going
to do about it?”
While the giant was looking
for a good recipe, Jill seized her opportunity and changed careers. She became
a talent agent. Talking fast, she convinced the giant that a 40 foot tall
giant, a singing harp, and a hen that lays golden eggs are not every day sights.
She pointed out that by going into show business and traveling with the circus
they could both clean up. The Giant could eat anything he wanted (other than a
stringy Jill) and Jill’s percentage as the Giant’s agent would insure that she
wouldn't starve either.
That is exactly what they
did.
Jill and the Giant traveled
all over the country for many years performing with the circus. They even
traveled to Europe three times. Jill’s percentage accumulated over time and she
bought a nice vacation home in Sarasota. The Giant, harp, and hen bought a
mondo-condo in Ft. Lauderdale. And they all lived happily ever after.
Oh that’s right, I forgot
Jack.
Well, Jack lay in the hammock
munching on beans and wishing he had the cow back until one day the beanstalk
became so old and brittle that it fell over and crushed Jack’s house. He too,
eventually took a job with the circus. It wasn’t quite as glamorous though—mainly
because of the size of the elephants and how hard they are to housebreak.
But, this is the way thing
are now. What are you going to do about it?
Moral: Circumstances seldom change themselves.
©2006 William L. Steen
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